I have been feeling like a slothful slug lately. A slogth, if you will. It is the kind of slogthfulness that wants to pretend it's being useful, but not really. "Let's work on that one drawing project. Oh, stuck? Well, let's crochet instead. Or, hey roommate, want to play Bananagrams?" I've been meaning to fix a button on my coat for ages, but I can't even get myself to procrastinate by sewing (which is weird) because it sounds vaguely productive.
We recently had quite a good chapel speaker, and one of the first supporting points he brought up in his message was that procrastination does not give rest. True rest can only be found in Jesus. If I know this, why am I having a hard time with it?
I've started to realize something as I try to catch up on Bible readings and square up my school life. Jesus isn't a gas tank, or an energy drink, or even an oasis. Doing life right doesn't look like a daily dose of Jesus. He doesn't simply work like fuel.
This isn't a criticism of "filling up on Jesus" via communal worship, Bible reading, or prayer. On the contrary, I think a better attitude about some of those things could help me. But reading the Bible every day won't automatically make my relationship with God better.
What does this have to do with me being lazy?
The more I type this, the more I feel like pretty much everything. I had no idea Jesus was going to make an appearance in this post until the following Bible verse popped into my head after I wrote the first two paragraphs:
I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. -- John 10:10, NKJVMy life doesn't look like that often. Abundant looks like a life overflowing with fruit, not a bed overflowing with discarded distractions. Jesus isn't supposed to occupy my time. He's supposed to occupy my life. I don't think Jesus is the fuel so much as the combustion chamber, or maybe the combustion itself.
Combustion doesn't necessarily sound restful, but it does sound like a good way to dislodge slogths. I think I'll try it.